I got through a fair portion of the Novel. I see promise and I have enjoyed what I read. I will admit reading it was rather difficult. I needed to pay extra care and attention the majority of the time. I'll be more than happy to give it a second try some time in the future.
To be frank the grammatical and spelling errors kinda put me off. The game itself still has potential and the potential ROs be lookin good. I'll be waiting for the new updates
I'll be brutally honest too, it's not just the grammar. The jokes feel off (like the one where you invite your boss to play video games at home as a form of flirting?) and then his rejection is even worse..
Then there's weird use of phrases like "I was so scared I didn't even flinch".
Now one bad joke and an error every once in a while is excusable but it got to a point where I had to stop playing.
I'll also say one more thing, this can't be fully fixed with a competent editor as the problems are in the story itself too. (like roomy trying to murder you then mc falling asleep and it's like nothing happened).
But yes, the fantasy setting and the characters look good. It just needs to be heavily polished. Edgy fiction REALLY needs to have very few grammar mistakes as it otherwise turns into cringe very fast.
I also hope to read it again after it's hopefully polished and edited.
Don't be sorry it's okay. It's my first time trying to create something like that so i still lack of experience. English is not my main lenguage and with dyslexia it's even worse x). But anyway I'm not sure i will continue this project, but still thanks for your time
Sorry didn't mean to discourage you. If you really want to do something you can get better at it. You just need time and a bit of guidance from fellow devs can speed that up.
But some things like learning grammar, story writing need time/effort.
Muscle gut guys. Like they are muscular, but have a beer gut, or they're a mix of chonky and muscular. And dilf because of their being older, like a daddy. :3
Well that's what i've planned for one main character ! A shark with a lot of muscle, a bit chonky and daddy like :D ! But I Can make a part two only if some people play the game x)
This character in the screenshot look so pretty and hot 🥰, this vn looks like it's going to be very good, I'll follow you to know everything about this vn ^w^
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Cmon you got talent it gonna come out great pls continue it
Come on think about it just give it time i realy think you made a cool vn 🥺🥹
Is Asterios still in active development?
Eeeeh.. No sadly x) !
That's too bad. Do you think you will continue this project one day?
Its possible. Why so ahah ?
Pls continue this VN its amazing
Agreed, amazing story so far.
I got through a fair portion of the Novel. I see promise and I have enjoyed what I read. I will admit reading it was rather difficult. I needed to pay extra care and attention the majority of the time. I'll be more than happy to give it a second try some time in the future.
I really like it so far. I hope you will continue.
Hello author! I hope you continue this amazing vn! Good luck..
Another comment pls continue this game its really good no its better than good actually no the game is really excellent i wanna know what happen
Any dates for the next update this game is too good to be true and yet here it is
if my english improves may be there will be update :) !
Really enjoyed this, Definitely will support to get more of the story. Good work.
Thanks for your kindness
Your vn was alot of fun I can't wait for more
Ouargh thanks, sadly i don't think more will come
Why
Well if i was a good writter i would continue but sadly im not
got a lot potential here just a little more work and you are golden dude i be waiting for next updates
Ahah thanks but i'm not sure anymore to continue the project. But thanks for your kind words !
I do hope you change your mind! This vn has potential and I love the boys. Ad being my favorite
ouargh thanks x)
To be frank the grammatical and spelling errors kinda put me off. The game itself still has potential and the potential ROs be lookin good. I'll be waiting for the new updates
I'll be brutally honest too, it's not just the grammar. The jokes feel off (like the one where you invite your boss to play video games at home as a form of flirting?) and then his rejection is even worse..
Then there's weird use of phrases like "I was so scared I didn't even flinch".
Now one bad joke and an error every once in a while is excusable but it got to a point where I had to stop playing.
I'll also say one more thing, this can't be fully fixed with a competent editor as the problems are in the story itself too. (like roomy trying to murder you then mc falling asleep and it's like nothing happened).
But yes, the fantasy setting and the characters look good. It just needs to be heavily polished. Edgy fiction REALLY needs to have very few grammar mistakes as it otherwise turns into cringe very fast.
I also hope to read it again after it's hopefully polished and edited.
Sorry if it's a bit too negative.
Don't be sorry it's okay. It's my first time trying to create something like that so i still lack of experience. English is not my main lenguage and with dyslexia it's even worse x). But anyway I'm not sure i will continue this project, but still thanks for your time
Sorry didn't mean to discourage you. If you really want to do something you can get better at it. You just need time and a bit of guidance from fellow devs can speed that up.
But some things like learning grammar, story writing need time/effort.
You did not discourage me, i have the same opinion. Don't worry.
maybe you can find someone or a friend that can fix the grammar/spelling errors?
It looks fine so far it might take a little for me to get through the game but i will report any is issues ifind to a soon as possible
Sure ! Joint the discord for that !
Okay let me see
I am intrested in the game I am just wondering will there be a android version. Cause I don't have a PC yet so I read visual novels on my phone.
Yep I'm currently uploading it !!
You can try now, it should be working ! Tell me if everything is ok
Hope there'll be a muscle gut dilf *w*
What do you mean ahah ? There will be other muscular guys !
Muscle gut guys. Like they are muscular, but have a beer gut, or they're a mix of chonky and muscular. And dilf because of their being older, like a daddy. :3
Well that's what i've planned for one main character ! A shark with a lot of muscle, a bit chonky and daddy like :D ! But I Can make a part two only if some people play the game x)
Oh I'll. Tho have to download on my PC. If it had Android build, I'd have already played it.
Thanks for the replies! ♡♡♡
I will try to make a android build !
there is now an android build !
YES =D
And the Android build is out ! You can download it
Nice ^w^, will the game have other languages too? Like Spanish and Portuguese (Brazilian Portuguese is my language)
There can Always be fan translation
This character in the screenshot look so pretty and hot 🥰, this vn looks like it's going to be very good, I'll follow you to know everything about this vn ^w^
Thanks a lot !
First !
Dang it >w<